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Idiot

"idiot"

I'm an idiot
I really am, I must be stupid or something
I believe whatever you say to me
I'm too trusting of you to not believe
the things you say
you told me you loved me and that we'd be together someday
but then you changed your mind
and wonder why I'm having a hard time
understanding why this has happened
why you decided to break my heart again
why this circle keeps going around with us
whenever it ends, it starts to begin
you tell me that you still love me
and I hear it in your voice
but it doesn't matter anymore, you have made your choice
the one woman in this fucked up world that completely
understands me
no longer wants to be with me
and that hurts so much its hard to put into words
I don't know whats wrong with me
I don't understand why you want to hurt me
why you mistreat me
when i do so much for you
I give you the entire world just as I always have done
you have many times called me perfect, and said I was the one
but you don't want to be with me and won't tell me why
I left a woman i spent 8 years with for you, I deserve an answer don't i?
you tell me you want to go off in this other direction
but not even 10 hours earlier, you told me how we should be together
I don't know what you want from me
I don't know what to do
it seems I always hang upon the lover's cross for you
because i believe in true love
and i believe in the magic that two people make together
and i believe in the love that we have for one another
and i believe in you, and in our happy ending
that we dreamed of so many years ago
but you seem to have just let go
and now I'm out there once again all alone in the dark
hung on the lover's cross, this is where the pain starts


---

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